Is saying no such a hard thing for you to say? Are you a people pleaser or do you tend to want to please yourself and not others- perhaps that’s your husband! If so, how many times has he told you no? So now is the time to say no back! Sometimes a simple one word phrase is all you need to stand up for yourself. You know how much you can take and just like almost all women in in the world, you are taking on too much because you don’t know how to say no without feeling guilty. Here’s how to every person you come in contact with!

#1 Your children. This population is probably the hardest group to say no to. Some kids think that they can have anything they want because they know you will do anything to get them those things that make their eyes shine and have the biggest smiles! – although you know you love to see their little faces light up, you know your wallet can’t take another blow; especially during this economy recession. Say no! They may cry or throw a temper tantrum but at the end of the day they still love you and more than likely they are over it. This will let them no there are boundaries; believe it or not, children want and need boundaries. By saying no, you are turning them into future great adults and contributions to society. Also, making them earn that item that they want will teach them the value of money. Knowing that it takes hard work to get whatever they want in life will set them on the right foot. As well as, this makes them to become goal-oriented. So later if they want to go to the best University; they know that that is a goal and it will take hard work to get there. So no matter how old your children are, go ahead and instill this value of a dollar so they aren’t the ones living on the streets and make good choices.

#2 Your spouse. Saying no also instills boundaries. If he asks for you to get him a drink every night while he is sitting on the couch and you do it every night for 20 years then he’ll expect you keep doing it for another 20 years. If you don’t want to get him a drink you need to to start saying no now. Waiting will only prolong what you don’t like. You may think that he acts lazy because his mom did everything for him; which is probably true but you need to break the cycle and make him realize that you are not his mother. You are his wife, not his mother, waitress, maid or slave. Once he gets used to this change in your behavior, you will start to see his level of respect increase for you. You’re not “super-wife” and once he’ll realize this then not only will it be less stress on you but your relationship will grow and be stronger. Personally, I have had to ‘raise” my future husband. When I first met him I could have swore that I thought he was in preschool because that was how he acted. Now he is turning into a young man, which is great to see. I have had to mold and shape him because he never really had a family to do that for him. Trust me, its been tough but it is well worth it! He is more responsible and he respects me much more now than he ever has. You’re situation probably isn’t this bad, but that’s a good thing cause it won’t be as hard. Be presistent like you have to be with your children (men are children, right? haha j/k). In the end, both of you will be happy just because you said no.

#3 The rest of your family. If they have seen you with your immediate family; they will treat you the same way. Say no when they ask you to do something when you already have 20 other things to do. They may be upset with you but they will get over it and they’ll start viewing you as the person they can’t run all over.

#4 Your co-workers and friends. Co-workers come and go; don’t waste time trying to impress them. Boss on the other hand, if you want to move up in a company don’t always say no but you can in some degrees. Friends, that’s it they’re friends; you are evidently friends with them for a reason, right? They’ll understand when you say no. They tend to be the most forgiving in all the groups mentioned here. So don’t worry to bad when you say no to a friend; if she/he is a true friend then they’ll still be your friend.

By saying no, you’ll gain a new R-E-S-P-E-C-T with all those you come into contact with. Stand firm on your decision and people will respect you for that. If they don’t, then you don’t need them in your life to begin with!

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